Dating after a breakup can feel difficult and awkward. If you are not prepared, dating as a single parent can also be riddled with feelings of guilt and regret. The advice below can help you get back in the saddle and enjoy life as a parent who also has a personal life.
Planning Before Your Date
Keep in mind that dating, even for those who are not parents, can be tricky. As a parent, you have learned to roll with the punches, and you must learn to do the same when it comes to dating. Before going out with someone for the first time, make sure your date understands that you are a single parent and plan the date around those needs. Dating as a single mom is less spontaneous because you will need to plan in advance for sitters for your kids. Also, you may end up coming home earlier than you normally would in order to keep up with your parental and household duties. Make sure your date understands these needs and is supportive of them. If your date is not understanding, look for someone else who would be a better fit for you and your kids.
Talk to Your Kids
Older children will understand that you may want to date again, but they may have difficulty immediately accepting a new partner. It is best to speak directly and honestly with older children. Younger children will probably not understand that you are dating, but it is still important to let your children know that you are going out with a friend and that you will be home soon. It can be very difficult for children to recover after a divorce or breakup, and introducing them to your dates too soon can aggravate that trauma. Whether your children are older or younger, be sure to set aside special time for activities with them. They need to know that they are still the most important people in your life.
During Your Date
Keep it casual. Remember, you do not immediately need to replace your former partner. Make sure you truly know your date and share the same values before deciding to make it a more serious relationship. Nothing ruins a date like putting too much pressure on yourself or each other. Sometimes you just have to laugh and go with the flow when things do not go exactly as planned. Share details about who you are and what makes you happy. It is best to stay away from talking and discussing your ex during your first few dates. There will be time down the road for your date to meet your children and to discuss more serious topics, if the relationship becomes more serious.
After Your Date
It’s important not to be too hard on yourself or to over-analyze what happened. This date may not turn into a serious relationship, but that is okay. You went out and had a nice time with another adult, which is something that single moms do not always get to do. Enjoy your dates, but if this one did not go as well as you hoped, try again. As you go on more dates, you will become more comfortable, and before you know it you will be a happily dating single mom.