Dating someone who is a workaholic is not simple, but there are things you can do that will make your relationship much easier. Probably the most important advice anyone can give you about dating a workaholic is to have a lot of patience and understanding for your partner.
Being in a relationship or marriage with someone is to know all their needs, desires and the personality of your partner; making sure you fulfill their needs, that you’re there for them and that you offer support.
For most people, dating someone who is a workaholic can be frustrating. You can feel less worthy of their time, because it might seem that everything is more important than you. On the contrary – in most cases, that’s not the case with workaholic people. But, some people like to pretend to love work more than they really do, and work becomes their excuse for everything. In order to avoid those stressful situations, you need to figure out whether your partner is really a workaholic. Some signs they show are:
- He/she talks about work related topics all the time.
- He/she puts work before everything else, sometimes even you – work is their top priority.
- Most of the time you call/email/send a text message to your partner, he/she is at work, no matter what time is it.
- When your partner doesn’t have much friends, only friends from their work.
- When even big nights/dates (birthdays, anniversaries, special dinners etc.) are not a good enough reason to convince your lover not to be at work.
- When your partner answers the phone, sends emails and makes business calls during a date.
These are some of the signs that you would see from your partner if she/he is a workaholic. It can be really frustrating if your partner is always busy and always unavailable, but you need to try understand it. You have to learn to see that work the same way your partner does. Working and being productive can be a real passion and learning why is work so important for he/she will increase your own understanding of why your partner works so hard.
Talk to your partner and try to learn why work is so important to them. Ask questions, be interested. Some of the great questions you can ask are “Have you always worked so hard?”; “Has it always been your dream to be this successful?”; “What are the goals that you would love to accomplish?” etc. Your partner will love to discuss their passion with you, you will get to know them deeper and your bond will grow stronger.
If your partner works long hours, including nights and weekends, you also need to learn how to accept it. Last, but not the least important advice – work is a habit that was there long before you, and we all know how tough it is to get rid of the old habits.
Best cure for that is to talk with your relationship partner and explain them how you feel and what you think about their “workaholism”. Be gentle and understanding – yelling, accusations and screaming will lead to nowhere. You need to explain how you fully understand their passion for the job, but you need a balance in your relationship and want to spend more quality time with him/her. Explain how you would like things to be, but be realistic. Asking your lover to spend more time with you is OK, but asking your date to find another job is NOT!
Another great idea is to make a schedule where you can figure out what days are best for spending quality time together. That is a reasonable course of action and making little compromises in your relationship is important – it makes the relationship stronger, more healthy and lasting.